A Lot of Times...I Just Don't Know

At times I don’t know what you think.
At others I don’t know what you feel;
My heart aches and yearns,
While it wants to know,
Is this moment one that’s surreal?

Does she know how much I really want to know her,
In the deepest most possible way?
Does she know her very presence
Consumes the desires of my day?

At times I don’t know if she knows how much I think of her…
Every desire, every thought, every hope, dream and passion;
At times I just don’t know if she thinks of me this way,
Or am I a man that’s really out of fashion?

My longing is always there,
Even when she does not speak;
My will is always seeking,
Not for a momentary glimpse…
But for her soul’s transparent revealing.

I cannot make her give me,
What she already knows I want and need;
I can only hope and pray
That her hidden passion wants to heed.

For you see…
There will be many more times
That I shall never know
All that she has within;
Unless she shares,
With fearless care
All that I just don’t know.


Copyright © 2009. David Hammock. All Rights Reserved.

Is It Difficult to Become "One"?

“Becoming One Flesh - 1 Corinthians 7:3-6”
(Why there may be difficulty)

Some people who have been abused, neglected, controlled, exploited, manipulated, coerced, conned, or disrespected have been given little or no voice or freedom in past relationships, even if they are Christians. Little or no help is truly available in today’s church that really deals with core issues. Many in the church are affected in such ways as well as outside the church.

Some have a difficult time receiving “REAL” love and also have difficulty “GIVING” true love, because those in their past who were in leadership/power/authority positions to give love just didn’t. Or, those who were to be examples of love including family members, pastors, Sunday school teachers, friends and coaches just didn’t come through for them when it was needed most. Consequently… the mystery, questions, pain, confusion and uncertainty of how to love remain until God brings healing, clarification and wholeness. We don’t need more sermons on love; we need pure and consistent demonstrations of unconditional love that meet our needs, which are based in God’s truths about love.

Blocking, freezing and numbing of emotions occurs when real love doesn’t take place in one’s life. Christians seeking help may turn to pastors. They meet and pastors give a few sessions of counseling and then say, “I’ll pray for you.” Most pastors do not look for, nor do they know how to accurately discern the root problems surrounding many issues, nor do they embrace the Biblical model of man being spirit, soul and body. Thus the person hurting continues to stumble through their forest of discouragement, not knowing where to turn. Basic pastoral ministry involves a degree of counseling. To not seek training or resources for hurting people is an injustice to God, truth, the church, the naive, the seeker and to life in general.

As a trained social worker, family therapist with over 12,000 logged hours, ordained minister and Christian of 36 years, there’s not much I haven’t seen. Many who have felt discouraged from past experiences when they sought help and desperately needed hope in the midst of despair and darkness wind up in my office telling me their stories. Some you wouldn’t believe.

In short, Christians need to be truly discipled in how to love. There are many components to love. Most of all, the Father’s love, the Son’s love and the Holy Spirit’s love need to be experienced before anyone can give true love according to I Corinthians 13.

David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.

If You Really Want to Know Me?

If you really want to know me,
Ask me what I think; ask me how I feel;
Ask me what I believe,
One thing for sure,
I’ll always try to be real.


If you really want to know me,
Find out what I like and what I don’t;
You’ll discover lots about me,
But…. only if you have a want.



Do you know my favorite color?
Do you know my favorite food?
Do you know what keeps my interests?
Or do you know what makes me brood?

Do you know what makes me happy?
Do you know what makes me sad?
Do you know what I enjoy most?
Do you know what I consider bad?

Do you know what makes me hurt?
Do you know what makes me cry?
Do you know what makes me silent?
Do you know what makes me want to draw nigh?

Do you know what makes me sleepless?
Do you know what makes me pace the floor?
Do you know what makes me restless?
Do you know why I walk out the door?

Do you know what makes me troubled?
Do you know why I complain?
Or is it all just something trivial?
That you find nothing more than disdain?

Do you know where I’ve been?
Do you know where I am going?
Do you know what I find most important?
Is it really something you find worth knowing?

I can’t tell you all about me by what I say.
You won’t know everything by watching what I do;
Learning about me won’t come easy.
It’s really up to you.


Copyright © 2009. David Hammock. All Rights Reserved.

If You Call Me "Baby"?

If you call me Baby,
Does it mean I’m really yours?

If you call me Baby,
Does it mean it’s the tune of the day?

If you call me Baby,
Does it mean I’m really that special at all?

If you call me Baby,
Is it because you know I want you to?

If you call me Baby,
Does it mean you’re trying to avoid giving something else?

If you call me Baby,
Is it because you want me to call you that too?

If you call me Baby,
Am I the only one with that name?

If you call me Baby,
Does it mean I’m out of the game?

If you call me Baby,
Do you know what it really means to me?

If you call me Baby,
Is it because you think you’re supposed to?

If you call me Baby,
Just what does that mean to you?

If you call me your Baby
And I don’t feel the power of the words that you say;
Does it mean something is missing?
Or is it just your way?

If there’s no “fire” when your voice echoes “Baby,”
What am I to make of that?
If your eyes, hands and body don’t say Baby,
Is it time to ask where you’re at?

So many spout terms of endearment,
Lighter than the Baby desires,
Make sure when you call me Baby,
I’m your heart’s desperate craving,
And let it remain always dire!


David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Is It Really Humility?

Most of us have bit of a problem with the word “humility.” We have ideas about humility that are distorted, lack precision, ones that we have misconceptions and uncertainties about, or maybe we just don’t even like the word, period. I remember from childhood someone in my life that frequently referred to people as humble. “She’s so humble,” or “He’s so humble,” the person would say of the one spoken of.

I really had a problem with this because I knew the person doing the talking well enough to know that they were mischievous, manipulative, controlling….and I never was comfortable with their motives. The person referring to the “humble” seemed to be one who took advantage of those that were being admired and I thought the talker was referring to people they could “get over” on. I just knew there was something wrong with this picture, even when I knew there was something right about humility. Remember now…I was just little boy.

Some see humility as unconditional, unquestionable compliance with whatever is asked or expected of them. It’s as though the person doesn’t have a voice or feelings about what is expected and they are merely nice little robots that function and perform precisely. Even when the so called “humble” one gives of themselves, too often their mistakes are pointed out more vividly than their efforts, spirits and motives being right and very “moving” to the point that others are helped. Perfectionists like the humble because they like to provoke false guilt and shame so they get what they want, regardless of how they treat the “humble” since the provoker has to be right and not fall off their power ladder. What would people think of them then? True humility doesn’t have to be unwise nor does one have to a victim.

Being humble isn’t being a doormat for people to get away with murder by “using” you. We all know about users and givers. I’m 54 years old and have seen a lot of both across the world. Being humble doesn’t mean we “hang our head lower” than the next man as though we’re helpless, poor, can’t speak for ourselves or that we are powerless. The power authorities and abusers of this world would like you to be a wimp, but most of all they would like you to think, feel and believe you’re a wimp. Wimps have low self-esteem, are uncertain about their identity and their value as a person is distorted by ideas someone else planted in their heads or by the way a power/authority figure treated them.

We view public figures that are soft soften or smooth talking and say the “politically correct” things as humble, even when their widely publicized actions seem “for the people,” while down the line, a big payoff is coming and their methods are as shrewd as they come and downright evil. We remark how humble someone is in Hollywood when they win an “Oscar” and shed a few tears and give credit where credit is due and they speak very little about themselves, even when they slept their way to the top to get there. When persons of wealth and good fortune give money to feed the poor, help the homeless or contribute to a worthy cause we remark about how much of a true humanitarian they are and how generous they are, when many times it is for a tax break and it’s just really good public relations and further expansion of their own financial kingdom.

First of all, humility doesn’t mean others are better than you and you are “less than” others. God is no respecter of persons. We are all made in the image of God. Whether we choose to accept that image and allow it to be a gift to ourselves and others remains a matter of free will.

Secondly, true humility isn’t an oppressive burden that one must bear. Humility is a gift from God to share with others. It frees one from pride and arrogance. True humility speaks for itself, because a person is confident in God’s strength to give it and confident in their God given identity, no matter what the outcome, and their value as a person isn’t diminished whether their humility is accepted or rejected. Some people reject another’s humility, because it becomes a vehicle of conviction, where they lack character themselves and it reminds them of how they fail others at times. Remember now…humility is a GIFT!

Thirdly, humility is really about the heart. I’ve always found that truly humble people seek to have clean hearts, pure hearts, and honest hearts, caring and giving hearts and they have a heart for God and others. They seem to have certain “glow” about them that others don’t. Humble people seem to have a heart that’s always moving in the right direction no matter what the circumstances or outcome of their situations. Quite simply…humble people want to do the “right” thing for the “right” reason. That’s the true reward.

Fourthly, humility is power. Most of the world sees humility as a sign of weakness. “Never let ‘em see you sweat. Don’t let them know you’re hurting. Never shed a tear in public. Suck it up. Don’t play the ace until you have to. Don’t talk about it in public. Don’t them this and don’t tell them that. No one needs to know. If they see how you really feel, you’ll be taken advantage of. Play it cool.” All of these statements and many others I’ve heard through the years are fear based, not faith based or power based. Sadly though, the world continues to play the game of greed, arrogance, power, control, manipulation, exploitation, seduction, perversion and conning with nothing more than a motivation of selfishness. True humility is the power to be unselfish because it’s right….not because it makes one feel better.

I Peter 5:5 states that we should “Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Imagine that! All of your value, all of your power and all of your hope are yours because of humility. But, the humility is based on God’s definition, not ours.

Being comfortable in your own skin is about certainty of your true identity which is found in Christ. When you like you and love you, it is possible to love your neighbor as yourself, because you have chosen to love you based on what God thinks and says about you, not what you or others think, feel and believe about you.

Philippians 2:3 states “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” That does not mean that you judge others or judge yourselves. It’s really about caring, sharing, giving, serving, honor and respect with a positive view of yourself as well as others. You are not diminished, nor do you classify yourself as a second-rate citizen or some sort of “untouchable,” “not good enough” kind of person. Those thoughts are merely deception that leads to disappointment, discouragement and even worse states of mind and heart.

Jesus spoke of himself in Matthew 11:29 as being “gentle and humble in heart.” Jesus was not a weak man. He changed the course of human history forever. But remember this: “Who being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on cross. (Philippians 2:5-8)

Finally, some points to remember: 1-Humility, submission and obedience, executed with the faith of God, releases His favor and blessings upon you; 2-Humility is action, not a feeling; 3-Humility can defuse arguments and you don’t have to win every argument; 4-Handling unfair treatment peacefully is possible when humble; you do not have to be overcome by bitterness. The need for vengeance and revenge begins to fade more and more when humility prevails; 5-You don’t have to put on a false identity and fearfully disguise yourself when you are humble; you don’t have to prove a thing; 6-True humility won’t crush you. We can all learn from the constructive criticism of others; 7- Humility liberates you to ask for forgiveness and be reconciled with others. (Matthew 5:23-24); 8- Humility helps you to have the right attitude; 9-Humility doesn’t mean you are a wimp; it demonstrates strength and character; 10-Humility isn’t being unaware of your gifts and talents (Ephesians 3:8); 11-Bible based humility doesn’t mean never speaking directly although we examine our motives, attitudes and actions.

The results from understanding the truth about humility are more successful than taking a fearful, distorted, arrogant approach. When humble, you are likely to have more influence than if you are not. Even if the results aren’t what you think they should be or what they could be, you have done the right thing for the right reason if God is with you. You become victorious even if you don’t win with man, you will always win with God. Your thinking will remain sound; you will not become powerless, your emotions will be able to function and be experienced as God intends and your heart will remain pure. And…when you lay your head down at night you can truly say, “I’m right with God, right with myself and others and it is well with my soul.”

David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.