True Love Never Dies

In the Darkness I Still Longed for You

It’s been quite sometime now, since I began patiently waiting, yet longing, loving, and yearning for my one and only. Having continued to search for you, I have encountered the deepest of sadnesses and disappointments, that I have ever known, as I frustratingly discovered, only after inhaling one more deeper breath of hope, than the day before, “This is not the one.” Many said, “Don’t search.”….yet…I could not sit idly by and feel effortless. My pursuit for you continued, through the wilderness of loneliness and bewilderment. A day and night haunting shadowed me every waking moment.

I continued on…endlessly trodding over the mountains, plains and valleys of painful anxiety and my growing despair. Along the way, I was diverted into a place of darkness, blindly anesthetized by the possibility that you could be found someplace else, other than in the light. The darkness in my own soul so overwhelmed me, that the possibility of death was considered as a place of relief. Not realizing what had happened…my dream had been surrendered to the unknown…the face of the deep where I could do no more than attempt to fathom and remain mystified by my own private hell. I was lost….lost in my desire for you…lost in the hopelessness of being without you…lost in a desert of confusion.

Many doubtful days passed before I was able to begin to take but, humble steps out of the darkness and back into the light, although they were grueling, infrequent and painful. The journey was by no means easy. Parts of me said, “I’m not certain I can begin again.” Past experiences had dealt such severe blows, I wasn’t sure I had the faith and endurance to even take the first step. Waiting for strength beyond my own to come and rescue me, from battered emotions and troubled thoughts, became an hourly routine. It was slow. It was different-with reservation and hesitation. Yet…I knew that remaining where I was would continue to bring not life, but death.

Shortly thereafter, I began to notice a flicker of light-distant…almost too distant to even call light but, I knew it was the light…the light of hope that Divine Providence had desired to be available to me. “Come this way son. Believe only me. The truths I have given you are yours. You can keep them. I’m going to change things.” So I remembered what I was told and something new was birthed.

As I journeyed further, a bridge appeared and the light seemed to come closer to me. I realized that the road before me was the way back to myself and that it was the way back to my hopes and dreams. I knew in myself that there were a few steps further, if I would only cross the bridge. “Yes…I must do this if I am to live” (I told myself)….and suddenly…I arrived on the other side.

I have continued my journey since crossing the bridge of hope, filled with the greatest of expectations and new vibrancy. Lessons from the darkness will be sealed in my heart for another day. The wisdom from what I’ve been taught will not be forgotten.

Now…the hope to find you has returned. The wonder of my soul mate still lingers within and my heart longs once again, relentlessly…for only you. I must not quit. I can not give up. Only that which I possess which belongs to you will ever be surrendered. I always know too that you still long to surrender that which belongs to only me because, we’re soul mates meant to be. Most of all, I’m still longing to surrender my heart to you because I belong….yes…only to you. The darkness once seemed too impossible to overcome but, I never stopped longing for you. Thank God my blinded eyes have now been opened and for the reassurance that you’ve been with me all this time; you always will be.

David Hammock. Copyright © 2011. All Rights Reserved.