Could you live with me in a cabin?
Or, maybe end each day inside my tent?
Is it Buckingham Palace you want?
Maybe a butler and a maid would make you content.
Could you be happy in Holland?
Perhaps the USA or France?
It only takes two willing hearts
That dare to begin a new song and dance.
Father said a hot plate and a soft pillow…
Would be all that it would take;
Should the cost of peace of mind take all he had?
He would forsake all, he said…
Lest there be any mistake.
Maybe you’re tempted by the bright lights
And the lure of a cosmopolitan city.
Is a quaint village that sings the songs of yester-year,
What you dream will take away discontentment and fear?
Or do you seek refuge and sanctuary,
Perhaps to gather a bit of sweet pity?
I’ve lived many life-times in this one, I feel.
With each new challenge and desire,
I sought what I believed every soul thought real.
No place, no time and no occasion,
Could ever be what was expected;
No anticipation, hope or faith
Could reveal what would later be rejected.
Time became justified.
The efforts were not in vain.
Happiness could not be limited to sunshine.
Nor could it be dismissed by rain.
I open my arms to your homecoming.
For I know you have passed over troubled waters too.
That’s how I knew that you would understand
And not question…
What I have gone through
In my quest to be with you.
So I surrender the clay of a simple potter
Molded and shaped to be happy just because;
There is no other rhythm or reason;
It is the creator’s purpose;
Making Himself happy…
It’s what He does best.
So can you be happy with an unlikely man
A man who seeks happiness in the soul?
For if so…let’s begin again
And let a new story be told.
Happiness seems a delusion to many;
To some it is completely out of fashion;
I am a man who shares what he treasures,
With a heart of relentless passion.
Passion to wake;
Passion to dine;
Passion to smile.
Passion…its very own kind.
I offer you a happy passion,
If this is what you seek.
Please open your heart to me.
Unless your heart is weak.
Once more I ask:
Could you…
Or would you be happy?
David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Devoted Atheists Grow in Number
ABC News
Devoted Atheists Grow in Numbers, Goals
Faithless Looking to Give and Receive Community Support
By G. JEFFREY MACDONALD
July 19, 2009--
Valerie Celeste Coffey is a woman on a mission. For six years, her small group of local atheists has gathered to exchange bemused stories about the things Christians do in worship and swap tips for raising confident skeptics.
But on a recent Wednesday evening here at the Java Room cafe, Ms. Coffey said the time had come to take the meetings in hand.
"I don't think this group has a vision," said Coffey, a freelance editor who lives in nearby Boxborough, Mass. "We need to figure out what our values are."
Ten days later, something unprecedented happened: The group met over Sunday brunch for a structured discussion with preplanned topics.
The ranks of nonbelievers are on the rise, research suggests, and as they seek out each other online and in small groups, they are increasingly looking to do more than just vent.
Some are adopting rituals themselves, from de-baptisms to wedding ceremonies, as a way to cement ties among members. Others are organizing science-related outings or enrolling in community-service programs. Nationwide, atheists' groups are now treading, sometimes gingerly, into unfamiliar territory.
"This is the transition moment right now," says Dale McGowan, author of "Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion." "Some groups are really diving in [to foster a robust sense of community], and some of them are holding their noses and standing on the diving board. They're not quite sure what to do."
Some 15 percent of Americans claim no religious affiliation, up from 8.2 percent in 1990, according to Trinity College's American Religious Identification Survey, released in March. Also, the American Humanist Association claims 20,000 financial supporters. That marks a doubling from five years ago, says spokeswoman Karen Frantz.
Moreover, signs point to non-believers seeking fellowship as never before. During the first five months of 2009, 95 new atheist groups have formed through meetup.com, bringing the US total to 372. That's up from 59 in 2005, says Blair Scott, director of national affiliates for American Atheists, a networking and advocacy organization. Known parenting groups for nonbelievers have proliferated from just one in 2005 to 33 in 2009, adds Mr. McGowan, the author.
The intersection of the two trends is evident across the United States. For example, the North Alabama Freethought Association, which has grown from 50 members in 2006 to 350 today, drew 30 people to a camping event in May and runs regular outings to visit caves or other science-related sites.
"It used to be that these atheist groups ... met almost in hiding," says American Atheists spokesman David Silverman. "Now they're doing a lot more stands at town parties, a lot more trash pickups, a lot more blood donations -- a lot more stuff that gets their group out and noticed."
Some say such initiatives are necessary to improve an image problem. Rebecca Grieve founded South Lake Atheists and Freethinkers in Groveland, Fla., last year because she felt the nearby atheist group in Orlando "wasn't doing enough in the community." Through an Adopt-A-Lake project, the new group monitors a section of Lake Minneola and promotes its efforts on a big sign at Clermont Waterfront Park.
"A lot of atheist groups are really negative," says Ms. Grieve, who now lives in Derry, N.H., and describes herself as a secular humanist. "They're not standing for anything. They're not making a difference.... I want to be accepted just like everybody else. We need to be showing people through example that we're decent people."
For some, however, the status quo suits just fine. Of the monthly Atheists of Greater Lowell (Mass.) gatherings, where no one convenes or adjourns the group, Paul Ratner of Lowell says: "I like this group as it is now."
Rob Butler of Westford. Mass., agrees: "I love coming here because I can just say whatever's on my mind, and people won't be offended by it."
In some ways, the lack of structure or ritual has been a defining characteristic of atheist groups. McGowan notes that many atheists bristle at ritual because it feels too religious or superstitious. American Atheists' Mr. Silverman insists, "there are no rituals with us."
But America's 27 Ethical Societies, which attract many nontheist attendees to their humanist "platforms," or services, see growing interest in rituals, ranging from children's education to weddings, according to membership chairman Thomas Hoeppner. Through ritual, "you build up not just common intellectual values, but the emotional and personal connection with people," says Mr. Hoeppner, a member of the Ethical Humanist Society of Chicago. "That's what it's all about."
"So when one of my dear friends in his 80s lost his wife, he'd be over at our house every Sunday afternoon for dinner," he says. "That's a ritual for us."
In Florida, atheists are pioneering a new ritual: de-baptism. Since last year, American Atheists' Florida state director Greg McDowell has been donning a mock clerical robe and officiating at services where family and friends come to watch the baptized renounce their baptisms.
The events spoof baptisms by using blow-dryers in the place of baptismal waters. They culminate in certificates for the "de-baptized" and letters to churches requesting that the names of those de-baptized be removed from baptismal rolls.
Elsewhere, ties that bind the faithless continue to grow stronger, even without ritual per se. After one member of the North Alabama Free Thought Association was robbed earlier this year, fellow members collected a few hundred dollars to see him through to payday. And when another was injured in a motorcycle accident, atheists brought meals every day for him and his caretakers.
"It makes me sit back and smile to know that this community has built itself up in a way that they're looking out for each other, watching each other's backs, and supporting each other," says Mr. Scott, who founded the Alabama group six years ago. "It almost makes me feel fatherly -- like you raised your child right."
Copyright © 2009 ABC News Internet Ventures
Devoted Atheists Grow in Numbers, Goals
Faithless Looking to Give and Receive Community Support
By G. JEFFREY MACDONALD
July 19, 2009--
Valerie Celeste Coffey is a woman on a mission. For six years, her small group of local atheists has gathered to exchange bemused stories about the things Christians do in worship and swap tips for raising confident skeptics.
But on a recent Wednesday evening here at the Java Room cafe, Ms. Coffey said the time had come to take the meetings in hand.
"I don't think this group has a vision," said Coffey, a freelance editor who lives in nearby Boxborough, Mass. "We need to figure out what our values are."
Ten days later, something unprecedented happened: The group met over Sunday brunch for a structured discussion with preplanned topics.
The ranks of nonbelievers are on the rise, research suggests, and as they seek out each other online and in small groups, they are increasingly looking to do more than just vent.
Some are adopting rituals themselves, from de-baptisms to wedding ceremonies, as a way to cement ties among members. Others are organizing science-related outings or enrolling in community-service programs. Nationwide, atheists' groups are now treading, sometimes gingerly, into unfamiliar territory.
"This is the transition moment right now," says Dale McGowan, author of "Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion." "Some groups are really diving in [to foster a robust sense of community], and some of them are holding their noses and standing on the diving board. They're not quite sure what to do."
Some 15 percent of Americans claim no religious affiliation, up from 8.2 percent in 1990, according to Trinity College's American Religious Identification Survey, released in March. Also, the American Humanist Association claims 20,000 financial supporters. That marks a doubling from five years ago, says spokeswoman Karen Frantz.
Moreover, signs point to non-believers seeking fellowship as never before. During the first five months of 2009, 95 new atheist groups have formed through meetup.com, bringing the US total to 372. That's up from 59 in 2005, says Blair Scott, director of national affiliates for American Atheists, a networking and advocacy organization. Known parenting groups for nonbelievers have proliferated from just one in 2005 to 33 in 2009, adds Mr. McGowan, the author.
The intersection of the two trends is evident across the United States. For example, the North Alabama Freethought Association, which has grown from 50 members in 2006 to 350 today, drew 30 people to a camping event in May and runs regular outings to visit caves or other science-related sites.
"It used to be that these atheist groups ... met almost in hiding," says American Atheists spokesman David Silverman. "Now they're doing a lot more stands at town parties, a lot more trash pickups, a lot more blood donations -- a lot more stuff that gets their group out and noticed."
Some say such initiatives are necessary to improve an image problem. Rebecca Grieve founded South Lake Atheists and Freethinkers in Groveland, Fla., last year because she felt the nearby atheist group in Orlando "wasn't doing enough in the community." Through an Adopt-A-Lake project, the new group monitors a section of Lake Minneola and promotes its efforts on a big sign at Clermont Waterfront Park.
"A lot of atheist groups are really negative," says Ms. Grieve, who now lives in Derry, N.H., and describes herself as a secular humanist. "They're not standing for anything. They're not making a difference.... I want to be accepted just like everybody else. We need to be showing people through example that we're decent people."
For some, however, the status quo suits just fine. Of the monthly Atheists of Greater Lowell (Mass.) gatherings, where no one convenes or adjourns the group, Paul Ratner of Lowell says: "I like this group as it is now."
Rob Butler of Westford. Mass., agrees: "I love coming here because I can just say whatever's on my mind, and people won't be offended by it."
In some ways, the lack of structure or ritual has been a defining characteristic of atheist groups. McGowan notes that many atheists bristle at ritual because it feels too religious or superstitious. American Atheists' Mr. Silverman insists, "there are no rituals with us."
But America's 27 Ethical Societies, which attract many nontheist attendees to their humanist "platforms," or services, see growing interest in rituals, ranging from children's education to weddings, according to membership chairman Thomas Hoeppner. Through ritual, "you build up not just common intellectual values, but the emotional and personal connection with people," says Mr. Hoeppner, a member of the Ethical Humanist Society of Chicago. "That's what it's all about."
"So when one of my dear friends in his 80s lost his wife, he'd be over at our house every Sunday afternoon for dinner," he says. "That's a ritual for us."
In Florida, atheists are pioneering a new ritual: de-baptism. Since last year, American Atheists' Florida state director Greg McDowell has been donning a mock clerical robe and officiating at services where family and friends come to watch the baptized renounce their baptisms.
The events spoof baptisms by using blow-dryers in the place of baptismal waters. They culminate in certificates for the "de-baptized" and letters to churches requesting that the names of those de-baptized be removed from baptismal rolls.
Elsewhere, ties that bind the faithless continue to grow stronger, even without ritual per se. After one member of the North Alabama Free Thought Association was robbed earlier this year, fellow members collected a few hundred dollars to see him through to payday. And when another was injured in a motorcycle accident, atheists brought meals every day for him and his caretakers.
"It makes me sit back and smile to know that this community has built itself up in a way that they're looking out for each other, watching each other's backs, and supporting each other," says Mr. Scott, who founded the Alabama group six years ago. "It almost makes me feel fatherly -- like you raised your child right."
Copyright © 2009 ABC News Internet Ventures
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
I Never Stopped Longing
Since the days I knew you existed in my dreams and in my hopes and in the deepest longings of my heart, I never stopped longing for you. When I could not see you…I knew you were there. When I could not hear your voice…I knew it was a gentle whisper and a vibrant call unto my soul. When I could not touch you, I knew your softness would cause my spirit to quiver and be filled with all that can be true about passion. I believed that you were real even before I was completely convinced, no matter what anyone else thought or considered scornful.
Then the day arrived when you placed your hands on my heart and looked into my eyes to see if I was real and you found me to be true to my word. The day was filled with beauty and I treasured every moment of our new beginning. Then suddenly I could not be without you any longer and called your name and you came to me. “Soul mate,” I called…. and you were there.
We had so much to learn about each other. We had so many thoughts to share, so many feelings to explore, so many things to do and say with one another. All I knew is that I wanted you like no other. I was willing to fight for you if there was a battlefield. There was a so much to learn about your heart. So many experiences we both had were similar and yet, others were different. Our paths had taken us across the world until now.
Where would we go? What would we do? What paths would lie before us? What was next? There were so many questions and I wanted so many answers. Now…I realize…..I wanted so much, that perhaps I was overwhelming…even to my soul mate and didn’t understand why.
Despite what I believed, dreamed and hoped for, no two souls are exactly alike. I tried to weave a pattern so quickly between us that you barely had time to comprehend my stitches. Maybe you even felt lost and I didn’t know it, amidst the continual busyness of my mind, my will, and my invigorated spirit that I was too blind to see what was happening before my very eyes.
I wanted everything to be right. I wanted nothing to go wrong. I wanted to know we could overcome any obstacle we would ever face with God’s strength, grace and wisdom. My passion for you and us, only grew stronger and more intense day by day. I never tired of you. The sight of you, the smell of you, the hope of you, the yearning for you, and the dream of you was my breath from day to day. I felt that nothing could stop you and I from being you and I. And yet…..now….you are gone.
I’ve grieved for more days than I can remember. I have so many questions that remain unanswered. I have so many tears that still stain my heart and there is no way they can be removed. Where did my soul mate go? How can she be gone? At times I’ve been in denial. There are days that I hope you will suddenly appear before me and never again will I experience your painful absence in this way yet….I know it is not so. I count the days on the calendar since you walked out of my life, hoping time will heal. But it has not.
So once again, I am longing for the wonder of my soul mate. I know that throughout the earth which God has created, He has prepared “ONE” just for me. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. Come home my beloved….come home. I cannot stop longing for you until you do. I know that my Creator still has plans…and they are good. Hope deferred has made my heart sick. Come home to me my princess…come home.
David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.
Then the day arrived when you placed your hands on my heart and looked into my eyes to see if I was real and you found me to be true to my word. The day was filled with beauty and I treasured every moment of our new beginning. Then suddenly I could not be without you any longer and called your name and you came to me. “Soul mate,” I called…. and you were there.
We had so much to learn about each other. We had so many thoughts to share, so many feelings to explore, so many things to do and say with one another. All I knew is that I wanted you like no other. I was willing to fight for you if there was a battlefield. There was a so much to learn about your heart. So many experiences we both had were similar and yet, others were different. Our paths had taken us across the world until now.
Where would we go? What would we do? What paths would lie before us? What was next? There were so many questions and I wanted so many answers. Now…I realize…..I wanted so much, that perhaps I was overwhelming…even to my soul mate and didn’t understand why.
Despite what I believed, dreamed and hoped for, no two souls are exactly alike. I tried to weave a pattern so quickly between us that you barely had time to comprehend my stitches. Maybe you even felt lost and I didn’t know it, amidst the continual busyness of my mind, my will, and my invigorated spirit that I was too blind to see what was happening before my very eyes.
I wanted everything to be right. I wanted nothing to go wrong. I wanted to know we could overcome any obstacle we would ever face with God’s strength, grace and wisdom. My passion for you and us, only grew stronger and more intense day by day. I never tired of you. The sight of you, the smell of you, the hope of you, the yearning for you, and the dream of you was my breath from day to day. I felt that nothing could stop you and I from being you and I. And yet…..now….you are gone.
I’ve grieved for more days than I can remember. I have so many questions that remain unanswered. I have so many tears that still stain my heart and there is no way they can be removed. Where did my soul mate go? How can she be gone? At times I’ve been in denial. There are days that I hope you will suddenly appear before me and never again will I experience your painful absence in this way yet….I know it is not so. I count the days on the calendar since you walked out of my life, hoping time will heal. But it has not.
So once again, I am longing for the wonder of my soul mate. I know that throughout the earth which God has created, He has prepared “ONE” just for me. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. Come home my beloved….come home. I cannot stop longing for you until you do. I know that my Creator still has plans…and they are good. Hope deferred has made my heart sick. Come home to me my princess…come home.
David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I Wonder???
Does she think my heart is soft?
Or does she think I’m a man that’s hard?
“Maybe he’s just not able to understand,” she says.
Or, “have his emotions begun to retard?”
At times I think she says, “Yes.”
When in reality she’s really saying, “No.”
I wonder… what went wrong I ask?
Then it seems my judgment is the foe.
Each and every day I wonder,
If she understands what I say and feel;
I tell her I love her always,
But does she always believe it’s real?
My eyes see only her,
Only her and no other;
I wonder if she knows
Where my soul’s eyes live,
And also…
It’s the home of my lover.
She knows of my deep passion for her.
Truly I see it within her eyes.
Even when I say and do the wrong things,
Like those occasional mess-ups of mine.
That cause my Baby pain.
And then my Baby cries.
Does she know I’d pay any price
With the equity of heaven’s bank?
Or at times maybe she thinks,
“He’s taking the easy road.”
Is that why sometimes I see a blank?
God I wonder if she knows,
My heart is always bleeding;
It’s a never ending desire for her heart,
That my soul is craving and needing.
Does she know I love her always
Even when it doesn’t feel like love?
Lord you know I’m depending on you
For strength that comes only from above.
Most of all I wonder…
Does she believe she’s heaven’s best?
If I fail in any way to demonstrate Lord,
Tell her for me…
“David says you’re better than all the rest.”
I may not do everything right.
I probably do a lot of things wrong.
But this one thing, I know for sure,
Being with you has begun to make me strong.
So on this day as I remember,
The anniversary date of when we said I love you;
I want you to never wonder,
If stopping loving you is something
I’ll ever do.
I’ve purposed in my heart
Ever since I recognized the promise of God;
That wherever I go you will go too;
We will press forward with amazing grace
And God’s loving arms will carry us through.
David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.
Or does she think I’m a man that’s hard?
“Maybe he’s just not able to understand,” she says.
Or, “have his emotions begun to retard?”
At times I think she says, “Yes.”
When in reality she’s really saying, “No.”
I wonder… what went wrong I ask?
Then it seems my judgment is the foe.
Each and every day I wonder,
If she understands what I say and feel;
I tell her I love her always,
But does she always believe it’s real?
My eyes see only her,
Only her and no other;
I wonder if she knows
Where my soul’s eyes live,
And also…
It’s the home of my lover.
She knows of my deep passion for her.
Truly I see it within her eyes.
Even when I say and do the wrong things,
Like those occasional mess-ups of mine.
That cause my Baby pain.
And then my Baby cries.
Does she know I’d pay any price
With the equity of heaven’s bank?
Or at times maybe she thinks,
“He’s taking the easy road.”
Is that why sometimes I see a blank?
God I wonder if she knows,
My heart is always bleeding;
It’s a never ending desire for her heart,
That my soul is craving and needing.
Does she know I love her always
Even when it doesn’t feel like love?
Lord you know I’m depending on you
For strength that comes only from above.
Most of all I wonder…
Does she believe she’s heaven’s best?
If I fail in any way to demonstrate Lord,
Tell her for me…
“David says you’re better than all the rest.”
I may not do everything right.
I probably do a lot of things wrong.
But this one thing, I know for sure,
Being with you has begun to make me strong.
So on this day as I remember,
The anniversary date of when we said I love you;
I want you to never wonder,
If stopping loving you is something
I’ll ever do.
I’ve purposed in my heart
Ever since I recognized the promise of God;
That wherever I go you will go too;
We will press forward with amazing grace
And God’s loving arms will carry us through.
David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.
Friday, March 20, 2009
A Lot of Times...I Just Don't Know
At times I don’t know what you think.
At others I don’t know what you feel;
My heart aches and yearns,
While it wants to know,
Is this moment one that’s surreal?
Does she know how much I really want to know her,
In the deepest most possible way?
Does she know her very presence
Consumes the desires of my day?
At times I don’t know if she knows how much I think of her…
Every desire, every thought, every hope, dream and passion;
At times I just don’t know if she thinks of me this way,
Or am I a man that’s really out of fashion?
My longing is always there,
Even when she does not speak;
My will is always seeking,
Not for a momentary glimpse…
But for her soul’s transparent revealing.
I cannot make her give me,
What she already knows I want and need;
I can only hope and pray
That her hidden passion wants to heed.
For you see…
There will be many more times
That I shall never know
All that she has within;
Unless she shares,
With fearless care
All that I just don’t know.
Copyright © 2009. David Hammock. All Rights Reserved.
At others I don’t know what you feel;
My heart aches and yearns,
While it wants to know,
Is this moment one that’s surreal?
Does she know how much I really want to know her,
In the deepest most possible way?
Does she know her very presence
Consumes the desires of my day?
At times I don’t know if she knows how much I think of her…
Every desire, every thought, every hope, dream and passion;
At times I just don’t know if she thinks of me this way,
Or am I a man that’s really out of fashion?
My longing is always there,
Even when she does not speak;
My will is always seeking,
Not for a momentary glimpse…
But for her soul’s transparent revealing.
I cannot make her give me,
What she already knows I want and need;
I can only hope and pray
That her hidden passion wants to heed.
For you see…
There will be many more times
That I shall never know
All that she has within;
Unless she shares,
With fearless care
All that I just don’t know.
Copyright © 2009. David Hammock. All Rights Reserved.
Is It Difficult to Become "One"?
“Becoming One Flesh - 1 Corinthians 7:3-6”
(Why there may be difficulty)
Some people who have been abused, neglected, controlled, exploited, manipulated, coerced, conned, or disrespected have been given little or no voice or freedom in past relationships, even if they are Christians. Little or no help is truly available in today’s church that really deals with core issues. Many in the church are affected in such ways as well as outside the church.
Some have a difficult time receiving “REAL” love and also have difficulty “GIVING” true love, because those in their past who were in leadership/power/authority positions to give love just didn’t. Or, those who were to be examples of love including family members, pastors, Sunday school teachers, friends and coaches just didn’t come through for them when it was needed most. Consequently… the mystery, questions, pain, confusion and uncertainty of how to love remain until God brings healing, clarification and wholeness. We don’t need more sermons on love; we need pure and consistent demonstrations of unconditional love that meet our needs, which are based in God’s truths about love.
Blocking, freezing and numbing of emotions occurs when real love doesn’t take place in one’s life. Christians seeking help may turn to pastors. They meet and pastors give a few sessions of counseling and then say, “I’ll pray for you.” Most pastors do not look for, nor do they know how to accurately discern the root problems surrounding many issues, nor do they embrace the Biblical model of man being spirit, soul and body. Thus the person hurting continues to stumble through their forest of discouragement, not knowing where to turn. Basic pastoral ministry involves a degree of counseling. To not seek training or resources for hurting people is an injustice to God, truth, the church, the naive, the seeker and to life in general.
As a trained social worker, family therapist with over 12,000 logged hours, ordained minister and Christian of 36 years, there’s not much I haven’t seen. Many who have felt discouraged from past experiences when they sought help and desperately needed hope in the midst of despair and darkness wind up in my office telling me their stories. Some you wouldn’t believe.
In short, Christians need to be truly discipled in how to love. There are many components to love. Most of all, the Father’s love, the Son’s love and the Holy Spirit’s love need to be experienced before anyone can give true love according to I Corinthians 13.
David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.
(Why there may be difficulty)
Some people who have been abused, neglected, controlled, exploited, manipulated, coerced, conned, or disrespected have been given little or no voice or freedom in past relationships, even if they are Christians. Little or no help is truly available in today’s church that really deals with core issues. Many in the church are affected in such ways as well as outside the church.
Some have a difficult time receiving “REAL” love and also have difficulty “GIVING” true love, because those in their past who were in leadership/power/authority positions to give love just didn’t. Or, those who were to be examples of love including family members, pastors, Sunday school teachers, friends and coaches just didn’t come through for them when it was needed most. Consequently… the mystery, questions, pain, confusion and uncertainty of how to love remain until God brings healing, clarification and wholeness. We don’t need more sermons on love; we need pure and consistent demonstrations of unconditional love that meet our needs, which are based in God’s truths about love.
Blocking, freezing and numbing of emotions occurs when real love doesn’t take place in one’s life. Christians seeking help may turn to pastors. They meet and pastors give a few sessions of counseling and then say, “I’ll pray for you.” Most pastors do not look for, nor do they know how to accurately discern the root problems surrounding many issues, nor do they embrace the Biblical model of man being spirit, soul and body. Thus the person hurting continues to stumble through their forest of discouragement, not knowing where to turn. Basic pastoral ministry involves a degree of counseling. To not seek training or resources for hurting people is an injustice to God, truth, the church, the naive, the seeker and to life in general.
As a trained social worker, family therapist with over 12,000 logged hours, ordained minister and Christian of 36 years, there’s not much I haven’t seen. Many who have felt discouraged from past experiences when they sought help and desperately needed hope in the midst of despair and darkness wind up in my office telling me their stories. Some you wouldn’t believe.
In short, Christians need to be truly discipled in how to love. There are many components to love. Most of all, the Father’s love, the Son’s love and the Holy Spirit’s love need to be experienced before anyone can give true love according to I Corinthians 13.
David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.
If You Really Want to Know Me?
If you really want to know me,
Ask me what I think; ask me how I feel;
Ask me what I believe,
One thing for sure,
I’ll always try to be real.
If you really want to know me,
Find out what I like and what I don’t;
You’ll discover lots about me,
But…. only if you have a want.
Do you know my favorite color?
Do you know my favorite food?
Do you know what keeps my interests?
Or do you know what makes me brood?
Do you know what makes me happy?
Do you know what makes me sad?
Do you know what I enjoy most?
Do you know what I consider bad?
Do you know what makes me hurt?
Do you know what makes me cry?
Do you know what makes me silent?
Do you know what makes me want to draw nigh?
Do you know what makes me sleepless?
Do you know what makes me pace the floor?
Do you know what makes me restless?
Do you know why I walk out the door?
Do you know what makes me troubled?
Do you know why I complain?
Or is it all just something trivial?
That you find nothing more than disdain?
Do you know where I’ve been?
Do you know where I am going?
Do you know what I find most important?
Is it really something you find worth knowing?
I can’t tell you all about me by what I say.
You won’t know everything by watching what I do;
Learning about me won’t come easy.
It’s really up to you.
Copyright © 2009. David Hammock. All Rights Reserved.
If You Call Me "Baby"?
If you call me Baby,
Does it mean I’m really yours?
If you call me Baby,
Does it mean it’s the tune of the day?
If you call me Baby,
Does it mean I’m really that special at all?
If you call me Baby,
Is it because you know I want you to?
If you call me Baby,
Does it mean you’re trying to avoid giving something else?
If you call me Baby,
Is it because you want me to call you that too?
If you call me Baby,
Am I the only one with that name?
If you call me Baby,
Does it mean I’m out of the game?
If you call me Baby,
Do you know what it really means to me?
If you call me Baby,
Is it because you think you’re supposed to?
If you call me Baby,
Just what does that mean to you?
If you call me your Baby
And I don’t feel the power of the words that you say;
Does it mean something is missing?
Or is it just your way?
If there’s no “fire” when your voice echoes “Baby,”
What am I to make of that?
If your eyes, hands and body don’t say Baby,
Is it time to ask where you’re at?
So many spout terms of endearment,
Lighter than the Baby desires,
Make sure when you call me Baby,
I’m your heart’s desperate craving,
And let it remain always dire!
David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Is It Really Humility?
Most of us have bit of a problem with the word “humility.” We have ideas about humility that are distorted, lack precision, ones that we have misconceptions and uncertainties about, or maybe we just don’t even like the word, period. I remember from childhood someone in my life that frequently referred to people as humble. “She’s so humble,” or “He’s so humble,” the person would say of the one spoken of.
I really had a problem with this because I knew the person doing the talking well enough to know that they were mischievous, manipulative, controlling….and I never was comfortable with their motives. The person referring to the “humble” seemed to be one who took advantage of those that were being admired and I thought the talker was referring to people they could “get over” on. I just knew there was something wrong with this picture, even when I knew there was something right about humility. Remember now…I was just little boy.
Some see humility as unconditional, unquestionable compliance with whatever is asked or expected of them. It’s as though the person doesn’t have a voice or feelings about what is expected and they are merely nice little robots that function and perform precisely. Even when the so called “humble” one gives of themselves, too often their mistakes are pointed out more vividly than their efforts, spirits and motives being right and very “moving” to the point that others are helped. Perfectionists like the humble because they like to provoke false guilt and shame so they get what they want, regardless of how they treat the “humble” since the provoker has to be right and not fall off their power ladder. What would people think of them then? True humility doesn’t have to be unwise nor does one have to a victim.
Being humble isn’t being a doormat for people to get away with murder by “using” you. We all know about users and givers. I’m 54 years old and have seen a lot of both across the world. Being humble doesn’t mean we “hang our head lower” than the next man as though we’re helpless, poor, can’t speak for ourselves or that we are powerless. The power authorities and abusers of this world would like you to be a wimp, but most of all they would like you to think, feel and believe you’re a wimp. Wimps have low self-esteem, are uncertain about their identity and their value as a person is distorted by ideas someone else planted in their heads or by the way a power/authority figure treated them.
We view public figures that are soft soften or smooth talking and say the “politically correct” things as humble, even when their widely publicized actions seem “for the people,” while down the line, a big payoff is coming and their methods are as shrewd as they come and downright evil. We remark how humble someone is in Hollywood when they win an “Oscar” and shed a few tears and give credit where credit is due and they speak very little about themselves, even when they slept their way to the top to get there. When persons of wealth and good fortune give money to feed the poor, help the homeless or contribute to a worthy cause we remark about how much of a true humanitarian they are and how generous they are, when many times it is for a tax break and it’s just really good public relations and further expansion of their own financial kingdom.
First of all, humility doesn’t mean others are better than you and you are “less than” others. God is no respecter of persons. We are all made in the image of God. Whether we choose to accept that image and allow it to be a gift to ourselves and others remains a matter of free will.
Secondly, true humility isn’t an oppressive burden that one must bear. Humility is a gift from God to share with others. It frees one from pride and arrogance. True humility speaks for itself, because a person is confident in God’s strength to give it and confident in their God given identity, no matter what the outcome, and their value as a person isn’t diminished whether their humility is accepted or rejected. Some people reject another’s humility, because it becomes a vehicle of conviction, where they lack character themselves and it reminds them of how they fail others at times. Remember now…humility is a GIFT!
Thirdly, humility is really about the heart. I’ve always found that truly humble people seek to have clean hearts, pure hearts, and honest hearts, caring and giving hearts and they have a heart for God and others. They seem to have certain “glow” about them that others don’t. Humble people seem to have a heart that’s always moving in the right direction no matter what the circumstances or outcome of their situations. Quite simply…humble people want to do the “right” thing for the “right” reason. That’s the true reward.
Fourthly, humility is power. Most of the world sees humility as a sign of weakness. “Never let ‘em see you sweat. Don’t let them know you’re hurting. Never shed a tear in public. Suck it up. Don’t play the ace until you have to. Don’t talk about it in public. Don’t them this and don’t tell them that. No one needs to know. If they see how you really feel, you’ll be taken advantage of. Play it cool.” All of these statements and many others I’ve heard through the years are fear based, not faith based or power based. Sadly though, the world continues to play the game of greed, arrogance, power, control, manipulation, exploitation, seduction, perversion and conning with nothing more than a motivation of selfishness. True humility is the power to be unselfish because it’s right….not because it makes one feel better.
I Peter 5:5 states that we should “Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Imagine that! All of your value, all of your power and all of your hope are yours because of humility. But, the humility is based on God’s definition, not ours.
Being comfortable in your own skin is about certainty of your true identity which is found in Christ. When you like you and love you, it is possible to love your neighbor as yourself, because you have chosen to love you based on what God thinks and says about you, not what you or others think, feel and believe about you.
Philippians 2:3 states “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” That does not mean that you judge others or judge yourselves. It’s really about caring, sharing, giving, serving, honor and respect with a positive view of yourself as well as others. You are not diminished, nor do you classify yourself as a second-rate citizen or some sort of “untouchable,” “not good enough” kind of person. Those thoughts are merely deception that leads to disappointment, discouragement and even worse states of mind and heart.
Jesus spoke of himself in Matthew 11:29 as being “gentle and humble in heart.” Jesus was not a weak man. He changed the course of human history forever. But remember this: “Who being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on cross. (Philippians 2:5-8)
Finally, some points to remember: 1-Humility, submission and obedience, executed with the faith of God, releases His favor and blessings upon you; 2-Humility is action, not a feeling; 3-Humility can defuse arguments and you don’t have to win every argument; 4-Handling unfair treatment peacefully is possible when humble; you do not have to be overcome by bitterness. The need for vengeance and revenge begins to fade more and more when humility prevails; 5-You don’t have to put on a false identity and fearfully disguise yourself when you are humble; you don’t have to prove a thing; 6-True humility won’t crush you. We can all learn from the constructive criticism of others; 7- Humility liberates you to ask for forgiveness and be reconciled with others. (Matthew 5:23-24); 8- Humility helps you to have the right attitude; 9-Humility doesn’t mean you are a wimp; it demonstrates strength and character; 10-Humility isn’t being unaware of your gifts and talents (Ephesians 3:8); 11-Bible based humility doesn’t mean never speaking directly although we examine our motives, attitudes and actions.
David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.
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