I Never Stopped Longing

Since the days I knew you existed in my dreams and in my hopes and in the deepest longings of my heart, I never stopped longing for you. When I could not see you…I knew you were there. When I could not hear your voice…I knew it was a gentle whisper and a vibrant call unto my soul. When I could not touch you, I knew your softness would cause my spirit to quiver and be filled with all that can be true about passion. I believed that you were real even before I was completely convinced, no matter what anyone else thought or considered scornful.

Then the day arrived when you placed your hands on my heart and looked into my eyes to see if I was real and you found me to be true to my word. The day was filled with beauty and I treasured every moment of our new beginning. Then suddenly I could not be without you any longer and called your name and you came to me. “Soul mate,” I called…. and you were there.

We had so much to learn about each other. We had so many thoughts to share, so many feelings to explore, so many things to do and say with one another. All I knew is that I wanted you like no other. I was willing to fight for you if there was a battlefield. There was a so much to learn about your heart. So many experiences we both had were similar and yet, others were different. Our paths had taken us across the world until now.

Where would we go? What would we do? What paths would lie before us? What was next? There were so many questions and I wanted so many answers. Now…I realize…..I wanted so much, that perhaps I was overwhelming…even to my soul mate and didn’t understand why.

Despite what I believed, dreamed and hoped for, no two souls are exactly alike. I tried to weave a pattern so quickly between us that you barely had time to comprehend my stitches. Maybe you even felt lost and I didn’t know it, amidst the continual busyness of my mind, my will, and my invigorated spirit that I was too blind to see what was happening before my very eyes.

I wanted everything to be right. I wanted nothing to go wrong. I wanted to know we could overcome any obstacle we would ever face with God’s strength, grace and wisdom. My passion for you and us, only grew stronger and more intense day by day. I never tired of you. The sight of you, the smell of you, the hope of you, the yearning for you, and the dream of you was my breath from day to day. I felt that nothing could stop you and I from being you and I. And yet…..now….you are gone.

I’ve grieved for more days than I can remember. I have so many questions that remain unanswered. I have so many tears that still stain my heart and there is no way they can be removed. Where did my soul mate go? How can she be gone? At times I’ve been in denial. There are days that I hope you will suddenly appear before me and never again will I experience your painful absence in this way yet….I know it is not so. I count the days on the calendar since you walked out of my life, hoping time will heal. But it has not.

So once again, I am longing for the wonder of my soul mate. I know that throughout the earth which God has created, He has prepared “ONE” just for me. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. Come home my beloved….come home. I cannot stop longing for you until you do. I know that my Creator still has plans…and they are good. Hope deferred has made my heart sick. Come home to me my princess…come home.

David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.